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Online dating tricks: There’s no rush to meet potential partners instantly. Building trust and a rapport with someone takes time, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with taking it slow. Exchange a good amount of messages and really get to know each other online before you meet offline. Salama also emphasizes; ‘Don’t be discouraged. It’s pretty rare to meet the perfect person instantly, and that’s for the best! You can improve your seduction skills and also get to know more about what it is exactly that you want. Maybe something will come to light that you didn’t realize before.’ And maybe you’ll find that trying to force a flower to bloom will kill that flower, so remember, patience pays off in the end.
Married daters are more common than we’d like to think, says dating coach Laurel House, host of the podcast The Man Whisperer. Her tip: “A little pre-date due diligence is smart. Do a Google image search with his photo to see if it links to a Facebook or Instagram account.” This can also protect you from scam artists—be wary if the photos seem too perfect or his language is considerably more fluent in his profile than in his messages. And if he tells you he lost his wallet and needs a loan? Run. The first thing Hoffman tells me: “This takes time and attention. I want you to be on the site at least three hours a week.” Uh-oh. That’s three episodes of The Sinner.
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“We all want a flattering photo that peaks the maximum number of people’s interest. Go ahead and choose that picture, but recognize that it’s a slippery slope. There is a temptation to create or communicate a [version of] you that, like an Instagram post, will garner the most likes. Do not contort yourself to fit what you presume others desire. In your mind, put your wants first. Use Tinder to communicate what you actually desire, so you can find someone you truly like.” —Wednesday Martin, Ph.D., author of “Untrue: Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, Lust, and Infidelity Is Wrong and How the New Science Can Set Us Free”
You learn so much more from a person’s manner and demeanor — whether he makes eye contact, her tone when she speaks, how often she smiles. You also recognize social niceties; that is, what sort of effort he makes to ask you questions, whether she is constantly checking her phone, etc. So much vital information is only disclosed in person. The goal shouldn’t be to find your perfect match but merely to winnow down the possibilities to a reasonable number, and then to meet those people IRL. It can be hard, when you so badly want to find “the one,” but getting to know another person, truly, takes time and patience. What are some other tips you have for evaluating online profiles for compatibility? Let us know in the comments.
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